Wander the Darkness
by GoldenGriffiness
Summary: What was he thinking? Stabbing himself? Did he not realize what he would become? Frail and powerless... And Lost. Beyond the faintest hope of life... If it weren't for them, he would never escape... Oneshot of Sora's brief heartless adventure


(AN: My view of Heartless-Sora from KH1, and the only drabble here that's going to be edited.)

"A keyblade that unlocks people's hearts…I wonder…"

He didn't know what he was doing. Plain and simple. In truth, he just wanted to help his friend.

"Sora…" Goofy's speech was muffled, unimportant. Too late now, anyway. That's just the kind of person he was. He'd do anything for his friends, and he'd already seen it – the obsidian blade.

His large shoes slapped the ground, echoing in the large chamber. The pressure in the air pushed in on him, pushing him forward. With a final click of shoe against stone, he leaned down, reaching out to take hold of the hilt, cold as ice.

He gently picked it up, weighing it with reverence; any fear he had had been swept away. He turned it to point skyward, eyes glued to it. It seemed to emanate ice, burning into his palms and throughout his veins, calming, numbing…

"Sora, hold on!"

"Please wait!"

His friends' cries cut through the numbing effect, a surge of warmth from his beating heart reminding him of all he had to lose. And in that split moment, doubt shook him. He turned his head, tried to smile… Probably more of a grimace.

Worried he'd lose his courage, he flipped the blade, taking hold of the round shaft, pointing towards his warm heart – fluttering, trapped.

Without a wince he brought the blade forward, digging the arrow-like tip into soft flesh. It passed though him like a ghost, painlessly, swiftly, leaving not a mark behind.

His eyes slipped closed, and he felt something leave him, something that'd been with him the whole time. Warm, comforting, a ray of sunlight over cold sea.

'_She really has been with me the whole time…'_

But now she was gone, and all that was left was shadow.

His eyes opened. Everything was hazy; cold tingles shivered and writhed around him, hissing like vipers. Surely he was imagining the great light that enveloped him? Spilling from within and creating a golden pool of radiance around him.

"Sora!" Donald's prolonged cry was so far away, like the whisper of a past life he could never grasp again.

He fell slowly, as if he was being cut from the threads that bound him to the world, one by one.

"Sora!" Her voice, like the beating wings of a butterfly, confused, afraid. He wanted to reach out to her –comfort her – tell her that he'd look after her. Just like she'd done for him as the violence raged on, no end in sight.

But he couldn't, he'd lost the strength for that. He couldn't even glance at her before his body was stripped away. He couldn't feel anymore, just the vague, lingering warmth of his friends around him. But soon even that left, receding as his heart shattered like glass, scattering, lost.

"Sora! Come back, Sora!" Sora would have smiled ruefully if he could. His body was gone, dissolved. And he was going to where none could reach to pull him back.

Little stars of radiance flew up, up and away, twinkling like hopes long lost. Teasing, for a moment seeming in reach, but gone just as suddenly, leaving only a cold, dark void in their place.

Sora felt weightless…

_What's happening to me?_

He felt bits of himself tearing away, fleeing, flitting away. Hopes, Dreams, Love… They couldn't survive in this dark place.

_Falling…_

Rather than them falling away from him, he was falling away from them. Tumbling into a dark abyss, the only light, himself, being tugged away and lost for all eternity.

_Falling…_

He barely remembered where he came from anymore, this was reality. A cold dark place without escape. No point fighting anymore. All he cared about was gone; fleeing like timid mice under a cat's watchful glare.

_Into darkness…_

The darkness surrounded him, pressing in on him; filtering into his eyes, his soul, his heart. It didn't hurt… So why fight it? His heart fluttered, but it had lost its warmth. And soon it was fading…fading into nothing; gone.

_What's the point?_

Darkness shimmered around him, creeping forward, ready to accept him.

_Of fighting it when…_

It crept around him; a cold calming embrace, numbing, soothing…

_You know you've already lost?_

He could have been there for eternity for all he knew; he felt his body fade away, leaving the feeble scrawny thing that was now him to curl up in the shadow's cold embrace.

"No…"

The voice was faint, so far away, but so familiar – not only because maybe he recognized it, but also because it sounded as he had felt a moment before… Mirror images…

He wanted to call out, tell whoever it was that it was okay – they'd be better soon – that being stranded in darkness wasn't a bad thing. But he was too tired. They'd find out for themselves soon enough…

"You won't…use me for this!"

Sora wondered where he'd heard that voice before. It was shackled to darkness, maybe even more than he was. But why was the unknown person fighting the bonds? It was so much easier just to rest… Life was a hassle, a constant jumble of decisions to make, never knowing where the road would drag you next. It was so much easier…

The voice, ever more frantic shouted, "You've gotta run!"

Who could he be talking to?

"The heartless are coming!"

Something sparked, a spot of light in his empty chest, tugging at that place where his heart should have been. If it was her...if they were after her... He clung to the sound of the voice hungrily and felt the darkness recede ever so slightly. Suddenly he had a purpose.

He couldn't let them hurt her, could he?

For a moment, he was nowhere at all, scatted again, then he was staring longingly at his friends as they fled.

He tried to follow, jumping down a distance that would have killed him before. Swaying, feeling with each step a cold, ravaging hunger budding in his chest, threatening every instant to pull him back to the other side – which had quite suddenly lost all its appeal.

Time passed in a blur of movement, the empty place where his heart should be burned cold fire, causing every tiny movement to be drowned in anguish.

He approached them clumsily, swaying from side to side, as if he could topple at any moment…

"Confounded heartless!" Donald shouted, bringing his great hammer down on Sora's forehead. It hurt, but Sora was too dazed to care.

"Get lost will ya'?"

He only had eyes for her… Looking at her brought a faint spark of warm light to his cold, bare, empty chest.

Her eyes widened, looking at him… He never would know how she could tell…

"Sora?" Her voice caught in her throat, "I-Is that you?"

Sora… Yes. That was his name once… Maybe it could be still.

He didn't jump or startle or flinch when the heartless appeared; barely noticed as Donald and Goofy ran to fight them. All that mattered was Kairi's defiant voice.

He felt the other heartless' ice-star eyes focus on him; he didn't know why. But it was him they were meant to kill.

She glanced at him, shaking, but true bravery shining in her eyes. "This time I'll protect _you_!"

"Sora!" She spun, pressed him to her, trying in vain to protect him from the claws that came slashing, biting into flesh and shadow alike.

Sora felt warmth bloom in his chest, spreading like fire. The rakes didn't hurt anymore as Kairi leaned over him, protecting him from most.

"Kairi!" Goofy's cry was muted by swishing claws before light exploded from Sora, throwing the heartless away like they were nothing. Spreading through his shadowy veins, causing his new body to glow like star-fire. The heat expanded, painful yet comforting, burning away the ice that had reached in to grasp him.

Suddenly the boundaries of this body weren't enough to contain it anymore. It exploded outward, bringing him with it. With hands newly rediscovered, he held her close to him, feeling the beat of the butterfly-wingbeat heart so close to his own. The warm golden radiance fell back into him, almost more than he could contain. She'd brought him back, like a homing beacon to guide him home.

"Kairi," he whispered, treating her name like something delicate and precious, something to be handled with great care, "Thank you…"

She lifted her head from his shoulder, blinking fiery eyes, calling his name with reverence, "Sora!"

Donald and Goofy echoed with a cheer. Warmth settled around him; not a physical feeling, but something just as comforting.

_I think I'm home…_


End file.
